This post comes from a great blog post conversation with a sista from San Diego and she has a website worth checking out but it's not for weak men in anyway and most weak men will be the first to say I'm not weak!!! You know who you are....
Author & CEO of Speak Life, Inc. & Perri, Ink
Men and women are each others kryptonite and we keep playing with that fire and getting burned and not learning very much because we go do it again! I think it's an equal "kryptonite effect" of sorts for men and women and guys always say they want a "church girl" but they didn't meet her in church but instead at the club showin' a little skin. The man liked it then so whats wrong with it later? She is a piece of a$$ in the club but if she becomes or is a mother then the game is changed...but thats what the man was looking for. Why do men go to clubs and bars looking for the mother of their child or the stay at home wife???
Now don't get me wrong the church girls are no saints either and a superwoman may not know how to let a "good man" assume the position of "head of the family" if their relationship grows to that point because she may not have had that or seen it in her younger years but that's neither here nor there but I think you get the idea.
Now if two people get together the man tries to be "Mr. Jealous" and have an attitude when another man looks at his girl. (stupid!) Most men look at Beyonce', Halle Berry or Jill Scott and these woman all have men in their lives yet their men have to accept the fact that other men are going to look at them, try to holla and that's whether her man is there or not. Brothas need to be happy and praise you have a beautiful woman inside and out and that other men are recognizing it! (Well maybe that's just me)
I'm lost because now he is trying to change her and we know we don't want to be changed but he is trying to change her into what he wants instead of what he wants to look at. That's what hooked him right? Now he wants to change the wrapper so another man will not desire her. If he was a truely strong brother he could look past that and not even bat an eye...most men are not men when this comes into play and they annoy the crap ouit of me and it makes the genuine good guys look bad and then we have to work 10 times as hard to get through to prove ourselves to a woman and right there we have already lost good growing time!
At the same time though sistas say they want a "good man" but often they over look the "good man" because he doesn't have the flash that we associate with success. Instead of looking at him as a whole package like "same job for 10+ years, no extra kids, works hard, time for spiritualality, funny and caring etc." many good men are overlooked and end up dating elsewhere or outside of the racial divides....and sistas wonder why there are no good men left!!! (remember "One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure") women you never get to that point because his car or flash isn't what you wanted or thought and you don't get the bragging rights with the girlfriends! This is the pattern woman never break!
(Just think about it, who do we talk about more in social conversations of friends...the hoe get a little convo and gets talked about or the married woman that gets the extended conversation about her because she has been married for 10 years to the same guy?)
Everyone wants to "party like a rock star" but they are not ready for the responsibility that comes with that! Careful what we ask for I guess! Ladies want a "thug" brotha but then they wonder why if they have a job that has events they are not comfortable taking him to her company function because he won't fit the profile for the job world...and guys want the video chick who has an a$$ that stops traffic but she is loud and sounds uneducated and can't take her anywhere because she always thinks some white woman is going to pull her man away from her.
We all claim to have "game" but we don't use it to keep our significant other we only use it to get them. A lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets is a little more than a lot of guys can handle I think but being men we will always try to have our cake and eat it too! We need to expand our dating horizons and do different if you want to meet someone different. If we always meet a person that we have dated at the club, stop dating guys from the club and go to Starbuck, the gallery, universities, alumni events or even the grocery store thats not in your neighborhood...We will never know whats out there if we never leave our "hoods" and explore!
P.S. I don't think this was a little woman bashing but trust me I love my sistas...crazy, loud, sexy gorgeous, strong, yet understanding in the end!