Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ...

This was written for brothas but it definitely will work for any man!!!

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ... enough loot in a hideaway bank account to move out and rent a place of his own the minute his wife/woman starts tawkin that bullshyt. Even if he never wants to or needs to, he should still have the security of knowing that he can flex when ever the fuc he needs to...trust me you, she does. When she decides - with the aide and counsel of her girlfriends - that it's time to leave yo azz, she's going for the jugular. But don't be mad! Remember, all is fair in love and war. So, go and open up you another bank account...and a P.O Box. You bets believe she gots one. Trust me you.

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ... enough loot in his pockets to show a woman the time of her life, or the best evening she's ever had - at the drop of a dime. Fuc wasting your time trying to floss in a Hugo Boss, Kenneth Cole, Joseph Abboud, Ralph Lauren, Sean John, Dolce and Gabbanna, and all that bs. If your pockets are tight, that's all that'll really matter to her because it'll show her that you have the capacity and ability to give her security. Flashy name brand clothes on yo azz will not really mean anything to the seasoned veteran and trained-eye Jane Sleuth type of woman cuz they can spot a faker from a mile away.

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ...enough class, style, and finesse to take a woman out and make her feel like a queen WITHOUT the expectation of gettin' some puccy at the end of the night, and here's why: SHE DESERVES IT!!! Especially if she's a sista! White broads get special treatment the minute they are born; sistas been gettin' fucced since 1619 - literally!

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ... a youth he's content to remember forever....especially when he gets married or hitched. Puccy will never be as sweet again. Ever. Why? Because you're not 'chasing' her anymore. A man NEEDS to be in a constant state of the 'chase' and the 'hunt' in order to really feel like a man (rather than the man a woman tells him he ought to be). That's why women who are 'good' to their men are still wondering why he strayed.

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ...at least experienced one long term relationship with a white gurl. Why? cuz only through such an intimate experience/experiment can he rationally come to the educated and intellectual conclusion that the only woman for a black man is a black woman (fuc what you heard, find out for yourself)...too, the white gurl will give you the freaky skills necessary to sustain a good and healthy sex life with the sista. (they are the most uninhibited, sexually liberated and sexually immoral creatures on the planet. A brotha should certain do his fuccing apprenticeship with one of them.)

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ..... the number of a good mechanic. Your job is not to get under the hood and fix anything - you got a degree! Pay the brotha that doesn't have a degree and a career to do it for you. Your hands are for rubbing, not wrenching. Some brothas will let a broad tell make them think that masculinity or manhood is about some brotha being able to fix a car and take out the trash and all that bs. The real deal is that she's just trying to train your azz into thinking that it's your responsibility to fix HER car and take out HER trash. Its ok to help a woman with these types of things - especially if you fuccin her - but don't be her fool.

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ...at least 3 close females in his life, including his wife/girlfriend e.g the one that he WANTS as his woman; the one that he NEEDS as his woman; the one that he HAS as his woman. Balance is key!

A BROTHA SHOULD HAVE ...the ability to dazzle and delight a woman with his intellectuality. It's ok to 'keep it real' but keepin it real don't mean being dumb. You should be able to show that you've read a book or two, rather than spend all your free time honing your player skills.

EVERY BROTHA SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing his fuccin mind...remember, it's just puccy, and yo azz ain't the first guy to hit it, eat it, flip it, rub it down or whatever. That's why she can suc a dic so good, and that's why yo azz is sprung on them trics she be doin in the bed. (Somebody taught her.)

EVERY BROTHA SHOULD KNOW... when/how to set them traps when you suspect your woman of cheating. They are innately smarter than us, so it'll be hard to catch her, but it's not impossible. I suggest you start with her girlfriend; she knows everything, time, dates, places, hotels, etc. She probably even introduced yo gurl to the mutha fucca that's fuccing yo gurl

EVERY BROTHA SHOULD KNOW...that the can't change the length of his dic...but you can perfect your puccy-eating skillz. Remember, there's a reason why women are fuccin each other nowadays, and it's got nothing to do with the size of a man's dic.A BROTHA should NEVER allow a woman to tell HIM how to be a MAN. Unless she's a transvestite, she ain't never been no man, won't ever been one, and don't have a clue as to what it means or takes to be one.

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